Meet The Wolfies

Things may have got a little out of hand, however, for better or worse I have enough Wolfie friends to form a football team. This is the page where I give you the inside story on myself and all my Wolfie friends.

Now I just need to find a suitable team to play against…

Wolfie gets up close and personalName: World Wide Wolfie
Born: 2004
Style: International Celebrity and Wolfie of Mystery
Favourite colour: Gold
He says:
“The First Little Wolfie To Make It Big”
Other people say: “Isn’t he clever”
Likes: Exotic holidays, watching Wolves and getting recognised
Dislikes: People suggesting he looks like a mouse

Wolfie TooName: Wolfie Too
Born: 2005
Style: Quite like Wolfie Only A Little Cleaner
Favourite colour: Gold
He says:
“Why don’t I get any of these exotic holidays?”
Other people say: “You should get out more”
Likes: Making faces behind Wolfie’s back when he’s having his picture done
Dislikes: Being compared to Wolfie

Wendy - Wolves forgotten mascotName: Wendy
Born: 2006
Style: A Little Bit Marilyn Monroe, A Little Bit Barbara Cartland
Favourite colour: Gold
She says: “I love you Wolfie”
Other people say: “Where’s your enormous handbag, Wendy?”
Likes: People complementing her on her exquisite make up
Dislikes: Getting cast offs when Wolfie wants a new shirt. Being called a WAG

Had a brush with the ugly stickName: Wolfie 2.1
Born: 2008
Style: Much Cleaner Than The Other Wolfies
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: ���Don’t mess with the hair”
Other people say: “He’s quite like all the others”
Likes: Rachmaninov and Elton John
Dislikes: Not really having a personality of his own

Wolfie like they did it in the old daysName: Cousin Wolfie
Born: 1996
Style: Cute But Goofy
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “I can count to five”
Other people say: “You can only count to four”
Likes: Candy floss and Countdown
Dislikes: Aspersions cast on his intelligence

WendyName: Cousin Wendy
Born: 2001
Style: Not a looker
Favourite colour: Gold
She says: “I just want to be loved”
Other people say: “Aaaaaaaaargh”
Likes: Cousin Wolfie
Dislikes: The suggestion that whoever designed her with breasts is properly odd

Giant WolfieName: Giant Wolfie
Born: 2000
Style: Big bad and very ugly
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “Grrr”
Other people say:
“Oh Wolfie, what big teeth you have. Shame they grow out your chin.”

Likes: Giant Wendy
Dislikes: Being unable to fit into small spaces

Her clothes don't even fitName: Giant Wendy
Born: 2000
Style: Big bad and even uglier
Favourite colour: Gold
She says: “Hug me”
Other people say: “Do I have to?”
Likes: Giant Wolfie
Dislikes: David Cameron

Wolfie BeforeName: Wolfie B4
Born: 1994
Style: Small but perfectly formed
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “Grrr”
Other people say: “Oh Wolfie, what small teeth you have. But at least they’re all in your mouth.”
Likes: Dreaming of the day he’ll meet a like-minded and also tiny Wendy
Dislikes: Looking like a midget next to the other Wolfies

Blue WendyName:Blue Wendy
Born: 2000
Style: Not a looker
Favourite colour: Er, blue, it seems
She says: “I have nothing to say”
Other people say: “Good, this is getting a bit boring now”
Likes: Cousin Wolfie
Dislikes: Experiencing prejudice because of her colour

I've properly run out of Wolfie related captions nowName: Another Wolfie
Born: 2009
Style: Cute and child-friendly
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “I’m a unique individual”
Other people say: “Just like the other ones who look like you”
Likes: Supporting fine Wolves projects in the community
Dislikes: Not having a real sponsor

Wolfie the 13thName: Wolfie the 13th – Unlucky for Some
Born: 1996
Style: Squeaky Clean
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “Us older Wolfies love the celebratory hand gestures”
Other people say: “You must get very tired”
Likes: His doppelganger, Cousin Wolfie
Dislikes: Cousin Wendy

Another WendyName: Another Wendy
Born: 2009
Style? Definitely not
Favourite colour: Gold
She says: “Isn’t my make up exquisite”
Other people say: “No” (except the other Wendy’s, who say “yes”)
Likes: Another Wolfie
Dislikes: The severely cramped conditions that are beginning to emerge around here

Frankenstein's WolfieName: Frankenstein’s Wolfie
Born: 2006
Style: Squeaky clean, until the other Wolfies started nicking his stuff
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “I’ve only just arrived, please let me keep my shiny clean shirt for 5 minutes”
Other people say: “Nah”
Likes: Solitude and time to reflect
Dislikes: The ominous way Wolfie looks at his lovely clean feet

Stone WolfieName: Stone Wolfie
Born: 1998
Style: Serious
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “Who thought this was a good idea?”
Other people say: “Bring back the fluffy ones”
Likes: Stone Wendy
Dislikes: Glen Hoddle

Stone WendyName: Stone Wendy
Born:
1998
Style:
Busty ‘beauty’
Favourite colour:
Gold

She says:
It’s bad enough making up stuff for the other Wendy’s to say – I’m not even cute”
Other people say: “Fair point”
Likes:
Stone Wolfie
Dislikes: Being on the shelf

Wolves Mascot WolfieName: Wolfito
Born:
2002
Style:
Slightly camp
Favourite colour:
Gold

She says:
So, who came up with this pose?”
Other people say: “We like it”
Likes:
Unhealthy snacks
Dislikes: Other, less lucrative, snacks

Wolves mascotName: Wendito
Born:
2002
Style:
Bagged Babe
Favourite colour:
Controversially, white

She says:
Do you like my large handbag?”
Other people say: “But what do you keep in it?”
Likes:
Wolfito
Dislikes: Having one leg significantly longer than the other

And also introducing an associate of mine from out in the sticks:

Wolfie and Monty Magpie

Name: Monty Magpie
Born: 2006
Style: Smug
Favourite colour: Grey
He says:
“Newcastle are going to win”
Other people say: “The poor misguided little thing”
Likes: When Wolfie comes to visit and wows him with his cosmopolitan ways
Dislikes: Mike Ashley and Denis Wise