This is the page where I give you the inside story on myself and all my Wolfie friends.
Name: World Wide Wolfie
Born: 2004
Style: International Celebrity and Wolfie of Mystery
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “The First Little Wolfie To Make It Big”
Other people say: “Isn’t he clever”
Likes: Exotic holidays, watching Wolves and getting recognised
Dislikes: People suggesting he looks like a mouse
Name: Wolfie Too
Born: 2005
Style: Quite like Wolfie Only A Little Cleaner
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “Why don’t I get any of these exotic holidays?”
Other people say: “You should get out more”
Likes: Making faces behind Wolfie’s back when he’s having his picture done
Dislikes: Being compared to Wolfie
Name: Wendy
Born: 2006
Style: A Little Bit Marilyn Monroe, A Little Bit Barbara Cartland
Favourite colour: Gold
She says: “I love you Wolfie”
Other people say: “Where’s your enormous handbag, Wendy?”
Likes: People complementing her on her exquisite make up
Dislikes: Getting cast offs when Wolfie wants a new shirt. Being called a WAG
Name: Wolfie 2.1
Born: 2008
Style: Much Cleaner Than The Other Wolfies
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “Don’t mess with the hair”
Other people say: “He’s quite like all the others”
Likes: Rachmaninov and Elton John
Dislikes: Not really having a personality of his own
Name: Cousin Wolfie
Born: 1996
Style: Cute But Goofy
Favourite colour: Gold
He says: “I can count to five”
Other people say: “You can only count to four”
Likes: Candy floss and Countdown
Dislikes: Aspersions cast on his intelligence
Name: Cousin Wendy
Born: 2000
Style: Not a looker
Favourite colour: Gold
She says: “I just want to be loved”
Other people say: “Aaaaaaaaargh”
Likes: Cousin Wolfie
Dislikes: The suggestion that whoever designed her with breasts is properly odd
And also introducing an associate of mine from out in the sticks:
Name: Monty Magpie
Born: 2006
Style: Gristly and Gangly Old Bird
Favourite colour: Grey
He says: “Newcastle are going to win”
Other people say: “The poor misguided little thing”
Likes: When Wolfie comes to visit and wows him with his cosmopolitan ways
Dislikes: Mike Ashley and Denis Wise
