“Dear Sir/Madam,
I hope you are well. Please let me introduce myself. My name is World Wide Wolfie. I have a website of my own and am something of a celebrity. You can see my website at www.worldwidewolfie.co.uk. I am writing to you with an exciting sponsorship opportunity.

I currently only have two sets of clothes, and almost always wear my Wolverhampton Wanderers FC kit, but I think I need to branch out. I do have a Santa outfit which I bought in your store. I am delighted with it and it fits me perfectly. You can see a picture of me on my website. However, this outfit is, of course, of a seasonal nature, so you will understand that I can’t wear it all the time. I am looking for new outfit to wear to the last game of the season (4th May, Molineux Stadium, Wolverhampton) and I wondered if you could provide me with one. I would also certainly wear it to the play off finals were we lucky enough to get there. I am looking for, in order of preference:

1) a pirate outfit
2) a Robin Hood outfit
3) something else swashbuckling

I have been unable to find anything suitable on your website, although I believe you used to sell a pirate outfit. I have thought of buying one on ebay (in fact, I have seen one with a parrot on the shoulder, which was very exciting. A parrot!) but I thought I would approach you with this opportunity. Being involved in football, I am aware of many possible locations for sponsorship on my body, and would be very happy it you wanted to provide a sponsorship message. I would suggest either chest, back of neck or bottom. I would of course also big you up on my website.

My measurements are:
Chest: 13 ins (circumference)
Inside leg: 2.5 ins
Arm 2 ins

Please do contact me if you want to know any more about me. My postal address is…

Yours faithfully,
Wolfie”

I’ll let you know how I get on. I do hope they reply.