He’s got a new EP out, which is definitely worth a listen.

These are b-sides and rareties, however, so for slightly less quirky stuff, I’d also like to highly recommend ‘The Animal Years‘, with a special nod to ‘Wolves’ (because it’s great and because you have to), and also heck, everything.

But, until then, more about me.  After all, there’s been a lot written about all these matches and, let’s face it, very little about me, and it’s only fair that I should attempt to redress the balance.

I’ve been in Russia – more specifically Moscow and St Petersburg – on a bonny winner holiday and want to share a few pictures for your viewing pleasure:

I decided to go for a new 'free' photography style. You've probably spotted that this is Red Square

It's important to get the focus on these pictures right. Red Square again, but mainly - ME

Considering storming the Kremlin Walls

Just missed the high jump over the battlements

The funfair at Gorky Park was definitely closed for the season. Half the park had been given over to ice skating though, which was pretty amazing.

I'm not in this one, but wanted to show you (a small selection of) all the policemen at Red Square for New Year's 'celebrations'

Wolfie hits downtown St Petersburg. It does not know what's hit it. Here I am at the Church of the Saviour on the Spilled Blood

It was probably lucky I couldn't do the Lenin gesture well enough for passers by at Finlyandski Station to recognise it

If I had three items of advice to impart after this little jaunt, it would be:

1. Don’t make Monday the only day you have in St Petersburg.  The Hermitage is closed.
2. If at the sixth line of metal detectors (no exaggeration) to get to Red Square for New Year the nice policemen ask you if the clear liquid you’ve carried through every one of then is water, say ‘yes’ (‘da’ may be better).  This, it seems, is sufficient.  Alternatively, find something else to do for New Year.
3. Wrap up warm.  Shorts and T-shirts is really only for hard nuts like me.

Pretty T-shirt

In 1898  Elgar was inspired to write the world’s first football chant in tribute to Billy Malpass, the Wolves’ star centre forward of the time. This shirt from Philosophy Football features the original music written in Elgar’s own hand and the chant he penned ‘We banged the leather for goal.’  Unfortunately I haven’t been able to track down a recording of the music – any volunteers to take a go at recording the tune?

The shirt is available from PhilosophyFootball.com, who have a load of groovy stuff on their site (none, sadly in Wolfie sizes – a serious omission).

DoB: unknown

Pun Value: 0

Charm: 4

Machismo: 4

Weirdness factor: 8

Overall mascotspotter rating: 4

Trivia: The mascots are (not obviously, even when you look close up) black cats, to reflect Sunderland’s nickname – apparently derived from the occasion when one of the aforementioned creatures wandered into the dressing room before a 3-1 victory over Bury in 1909.  Honestly, other than that, I can’t find any information about these elusive creatures so if you have any amusing S&D stories, please do share.

DoB: August 1993

Pun Value: 5

Charm: 5

Machismo: 6

Weirdness factor: 9

Overall mascotspotter rating: 6

Trivia: Gunnersaurus Rex is a well documented but disturbingly squeaky clean mascot.  I can find nothing interesting to say about him.  I do believe there is some nice footage of Wenger ranting during the West Ham game, apparently right at the hapless mascot, but as no documentary evidence survives online, even this little nugget of interest comes to nothing.  According the the Arsenal website, he is ‘Gunner is one of the most respected mascots in football’.  I do not know how a mascot gains ‘respect’, but GR must have that in spades.

P.S. This does not make my views on Stephen Ward any less valid.

Took a little time out to visit the renowned (and surprisingly deformed) concrete cows.  I am pleased to say I make a couple of good friends with whom, I hope, I will correspond in the future.

In researching the topic on Wikipedia, I discovered this gem from, presumably, a somewhat over-enthusiastic local:

“The London media was not yet ready for conceptual art^{[citation needed]}: the tabloids’ preconceptions of Milton Keynes were confirmed rather than denied and radio DJ Noel Edmonds regularly made jibes about them^{[citation needed]}.”

I’m afraid to say, charming cows aside, this latest visit to MK did nothing to shift my own preconceptions about this car park of a town. At least I can get a warm glow, however, from the fact that I don’t find myself agreeing with Noel Edmonds.

Sure to make friends wherever I go

It's clear who won this particuar staring match

Ooops - one for the outtakes

Newcastle were stronger than puny Monty Magpie

This was less a game of two halves, more a game of one referee.  Without wishing to distract from the inadequacies of Wolves performance today, this game was stifled by a referee who lost control within the first ten minutes.  Wolves were barely able to string three passes together all game, and the ref did nothing to encourage the flow of play.

There were two goals, but the most extraordinary statistic was that the referee, Stuart Atwell (overseer of the infamous imaginary goal for Reading against Watford, amongst other blunders) stopped the game for no fewer than 41 fouls, handing out in the process 12 yellow cards in a not unusually ill-natured game (seven to Wolves, four for fouls on Joey Barton! ).  Barton finally got his comeuppance as Atwell tried to redress the imbalance by booking three Toon players in the last three minutes – the last of whom was Barton. Characteristically of the game, when the ref blew for him to come over for a booking, Barton deliberately ignored the summons.  Instead of asserting his authority, Atwell walked half the length of the pitch to save Barton’s legs.  On one final referring point, the WorldWideWolfie nomination for stupidest card of the game was Doyle’s for…literally nothing.  Running with the ball??

A draw was, given the balance of play, a good result for Wolves, but a far from pleasing one.  That we went in ahead at half time was more a testament to Newcastle’s inadequacies in front of goal that any reflection of merit.  It was good for a change to be the b******* who got a thoroughly undeserved goal (fantastic from an otherwise anonymous Ebanks-Blake), but it never looked likely to last.  Andy Carroll added to his hatrick of last week for Newcastle with a decent header, and even after the much-needed (and, in my opinion, rather late) introduction of Zubar, Fletcher and Gueidoura, Wolves would have been very lucky to get another.  Wolves had played by far their best half of football this season with Fletcher on the field so it was disappointing seeing him sitting on the bench when so many Wolves players were failing to make their mark on the occasion.  This was particularly disappointing given that Newcastle looked extremely vulnerable defensively on the rare occasions we got anywhere near their goal.  I couldn’t see well enough from where I was whether Jarvis deserved a penalty when he was felled in the box in the box, but I do know that (1) if the defender got the ball it should have been a corner, rather than the goal kick awarded; and (2) a win would have been a very lucky result. (EDIT: having watched the replay, it WAS a penalty so we should have won!)

I assume that an injury to Van Damme was the reason for his substitution as, after a shakey start, he seemed the only player able to take the ball from Newcastle.  Poor old Foley looked a more likely candidate for substitution as he was consistently out-muscled by his opponents.  It is, perhaps, unfair however to single out Foley on a day that no one really impressed – least of all the referee.

Hoping for much better next time on all counts.

Name: Changy the Elephant

DoB: Unknown

Pun Value: 0

Charm: 6

Machismo: 3

Weirdness factor: 2

Overall mascotspotter rating: 2.5/10

Trivia:  Changy was recently spotted prancing around with that weird guy from Pineapple Dance Studios (amazingly self-promoting Sky clip below).  I’m not really in a position to reproach him for these antics, however, as a certain Wolves mascot (not me, of course, but the actual Wolfie) can also be seen getting in on the action.